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The Other Half Of The Battle

(content warning: discourse of intimate partner violence)

In a poetry session with some kids in early March, we transition from conversation about International Women’s Week into talk about keeping young people, especially women and girls, safe from harm. A boy challenges the numbers, swears up and down that really it’s almost impossible for a woman to ever really find herself in these kinds of dangers. The question shifts into the question of how many people in the world actually seek to be given power and social capital by insisting on their own harm, and I, perhaps kind of stupidly, shift from there into the story of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.

I admit that part of it is because these kids are smart, and I’ve already told them from the first session when we were just humouring eager debates about school uniforms and writing poetry about our favourite pastimes that they are here not to gain something they don’t have, or to prove to anyone that they do or can have it, but because they’ve already earned the right to be here because they want to be here and are capable of challenging themselves. But the other part is, selfishly, to make sense of that kind of thing for myself. To hope that in a space of genuine, eager debate, even about the nasty stuff, I could shift some block in the way of all of our understanding, even my own, because if teenagers are smart (and they are), then there’s no reason they can’t teach me something in their own learning.

So, the givens: at the end of Amber Heard’s relationship with Johnny Depp, she accused him of an entire hidden world of physical and emotional violence that catalysed her decision to leave and find safety. But recently, months after her presence in the #MeToo Movement and her new, presumably safer relationship with Tesla mogul Elon Musk, Depp fired back through a lawyer’s statement suing Heard for defamation, asserting among other things that there was in fact abuse in their relationship, but Heard was the true aggressor—a question the entertainment blogosphere had had for just about as long, as they more frequently recounted Heard’s alleged history of violence in other romantic relationships than they did Depp’s.

Now, neither of these people are my friends. I can’t say one thing or another about what actually happened, although I have my own suspicions, as well as my own frustrations—like the fact that a lot of what I saw online at the time seemed to be not the attempt to genuinely assess harm, lead harmed persons toward healing, or even help abusers grow out of their tendencies, but to defend one’s fav above all else, regardless of the truth.

But I guess I should say the one thing about the story that stands out to me: this is the point where I have spent so much time wondering how much of any discussion about abuse and domestic violence actually matters to anyone or anything at all in our world. Not merely “what can we do to change this culture?” or “what is responsible for the aggression and disregard that blossoms in these relationships”, but… at what point are we all just talking so people can see our mouths moving and think that’s the work?

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About me

Hello there! I’m Brandon O’Brien. I am a performance poet, science fiction writer and teaching artist living and working in Trinidad. This is my blog, where I share work, talk about my process, and generally geek out. Never miss out on new stuff.

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Arisia assault Black Panther ConFusion 2020 COVID-19 fandom Hugo Awards intimate partner violence LGBTQ National Patriotism Month Performance Poetry revolution SFF Awards Season socialism Speculative Fiction Speculative Poetry The 2 Cents Movement Voltron: Legendary Defender

therisingtithes

Poet, writer, tabletop game designer, nerd. Trying to make something of himself. Preferably in pen.

therisingtithes
I did a panel at #PAXOnline2020 earlier this year I did a panel at #PAXOnline2020 earlier this year and it was really rad, so you know your resident pin-obsessed nerd had to get some swag. Including some new locking backs, and some dope pronoun hexes so I can try on ‘they’ more often in public!
Behold, my @fiyahlitmag #IgnyteAwards Finalist med Behold, my @fiyahlitmag #IgnyteAwards Finalist medallion has arrived! Still beyond blessed for all of it: for my poem simply being nominated, for FiyahCon—the very best con of this year—& for FIYAH in general, the best damn outlet in this whole damn genre. 🔥 🔥 🔥
Portrait of An Election Stain, 2020. Portrait of An Election Stain, 2020.
A book I cannot wait to eagerly consume. QUEEN OF A book I cannot wait to eagerly consume. QUEEN OF THE CONQUERED is finally in hand, and the sequel done preorder.
Guess what finally came in the mail! My copy of So Guess what finally came in the mail! My copy of Sovereigns of the Blue Rose! ‘Like Ice And Then Like Fire’ is a little ache of a story about how we mourn, and how we judge mourning. It’s surrounded by so many fabulous tales of the decades of the chosen sovereigns of the Kingdom of Aldis. The book looks amazing, inside and out.
Ordered a #Heckadeck to tinker with, but as soon a Ordered a #Heckadeck to tinker with, but as soon as I opened it, I was supernaturally compelled to #DestroyThisCard in particular. Don’t know what came over me.
One for each generation. ———— These @bozor One for each generation. ————
These @bozorobo pins are my absolute favourites. I just got the Kamen Rider Ichigo one on top, which completes the set. 
Kamen Rider, starting with Ichigo, seems to consistently argue that even when your power comes from a potentially dark place or has cruel origins, dedicating its use to destroying the forces of evil is what slowly turns that power into justice. Fascism denies you your own body? Reclaim it for the sole purpose of destroying fascism, and it becomes justice. Your space suit was made possible by revelations that led to the murder of your best friend’s father? Avenge him by thwarting evil’s plans while always smiling and sowing joy. Have you survived the trauma of unending hopelessness? Spare innocents that same pain by sharing hope wherever you go. Have you become a tyrant, forgetting to do good as power corrupts you? Then justice is the act of *literally* confronting yourself. Is time itself a record of the cruelties and selfishnesses of man? Then even break time against your heel.

I mean… it’s also not shy at all about how several antagonists are just mutant fascism, incapable of argument or compassion, only performing reason to keep their violence undetected, seeking power through force. Resistance, then, is in wielding the parts of you that are on the verge of collapse or corruption, and throwing them against the gears. Forge those dark portions in the fire of your own rage, tie them to your heel, and drop-kick all evil. 
I’m thinking about this as I work. What are the cruelties in my space that my body is unduly bonded to? And what parts of me do I wield in contrast to that cruelty? How do I transform myself, Darkness and all, into justice, resolve, compassion, and solidarity?

#kamenrider #enamelpins #resistance
#ConFusionSF was amazing. I got to give my mother #ConFusionSF was amazing. I got to give my mother the early birthday gift of her first trip to the States, her first live sight of snow, and her first con experience. I got to see snow for the first time, too, and even make a snowball (I’m good on that now, thanks). I got to link up with old friends, meet digital friends in person for the first time, and make brand new ones. I attended panels that actually made me think more deeply about what I make. I got to cohost a Speculative Open Mic, to talk about speculative verse, to ask deeper questions about how we write men with power or men with pain or both. @bogiperson even took us to this really neat black-owned bookstore in the area afterwards, and then @edebellauthor and Chris took my mother and I out for pizza after that! I adored the entire weekend. 
I’m particularly grateful that @miconfusionsf made me their Creative Guest of Honor this year. I tend to feel like I haven’t done enough, haven’t ‘made it’, but just knowing that I’m welcome in a fandom space seems to allay those fears. I’m grateful for those spaces. If ConFusion would have me back, I’d work my hardest to be there, any time.
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